How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
honey bunches of taint.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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