for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
