haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
