no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
