So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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