It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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