No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
