i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
