Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
