just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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