"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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