fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
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im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
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I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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