does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
