therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
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