i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
