Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
