I can't watch pbs sober anymore
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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