i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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