Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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