Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
