is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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