I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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