So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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