i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
