why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
