why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I still have a little drunk in my system
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
