We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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