Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
