no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
