Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
