i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
