somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
