So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
