Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
