Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
apparently the secret to your success is patron
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
