Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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