totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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