How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize