You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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