Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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