Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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