Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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