Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
