I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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