Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
