I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
