We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
