Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He kissed a someone with a penis
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
