This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
