Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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