How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize