Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize