If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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