i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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