honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
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You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
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His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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