If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
