im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
