Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
