i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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