i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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