PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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