he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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