i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize