So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
