Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Im part way to drunk.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
