Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
