Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
