How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
