Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
