Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize