All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
